Friends and Lovers
"It was a mistake, wasn't it?"
Spoilers: General S4
Rating: PG
Characters: Luke/Nicole, Luke/Lorelai
Disclaimer: They all belong to the Palladino's and Co., not me.
Notes: This was therapy for the disheartening spoilers about the upcoming season. Thanks to austin for looking this over before I dared to post. Her insight was much appreciated.
He was standing at the railing, staring out over the night ocean, when she approached him. The past two days had been uncomfortable, each of them being extra pleasant to the other, trying to convince themselves that this had been the smart thing to do, the right thing. But he couldn't fool himself any longer; they should never have gotten married.
She laid her head against his shoulder and put her arms around his waist, a gesture she had made many times in the past. Before, he had always welcomed her embrace; now, he stiffened at her touch. Sighing, she let him go and moved to stand beside him.
She placed her hands on the rail next to his and looked at the inky water below. They stood silently for a while before she decided that something needed to be said. "It was a mistake, wasn't it?" she asked, her words echoing his thoughts from earlier.
He turned sharply, looked closely at her. "What?"
"Getting married. It was too soon. We're not ready."
"Nicole-" He wanted to deny it, but he couldn't. The words he was about to speak died in his throat.
"And I'm not sure you'll ever really be ready," she continued sadly. "At least, not to marry me. Do you know what you said right before the ceremony?"
"That we should get married. That I wanted to be with you," he recalled. And in his mind, he had meant it. It was his heart that wouldn't listen.
"No, after that."
He shook his head.
"You said 'Rory will be so mad she missed this. I'm not even going to think about Lorelai's reaction.' Even when you were about to marry me, you were thinking of them."
Luke looked startled. "I said that?"
"You did."
"It didn't mean anything."
"Maybe, maybe not. But you have no idea how many times we've been together and you've mentioned Lorelai or Rory."
"Listen, Nic, I've known them forever. They're like family. It's only natural for me to talk about them," he argued gruffly.
"All the time?"
"It's not all the time."
"Yes, it is. Do you know how many times you told me about Rory's graduation day? About how smart she is and how she's going to Yale? Or how often you've talked about Lorelai and her inn?"
"I'm proud of them."
Nicole didn't answer for a moment. Then she asked quietly, "Are you in love with her?"
He knew who she was talking about, but he asked regardless, "Lorelai?"
"Yes."
"No. She's a friend. A good, good friend. That's all." He was telling her the truth - as much as he had hoped to be more than just her coffee supplier and handyman, there had never been anything more than friendship between him and Lorelai. But even as he said the words to Nicole, he knew that she could see that his feelings, at least, ran deeper. She confirmed this in the next breath.
"Liar," she scoffed affectionately before turning and resting her back against the rail. She didn't want to be able to see his face when she made her next announcement. Luke had never intended to hurt her and she didn't want to hurt him either. "When we get back home, I'm putting through the paperwork for a divorce."
He didn't try to dissuade her.
She pushed away from the rail and headed inside. Luke stayed a while longer, wondering when life had gotten so complicated.
~End~
Posted by Cassie on 11:40 AM